Forget debates about climate change or vaccines—the real science everyone cares about is beer. For years, Aussies have argued over which brew reigns supreme, but it’s time to put the controversy to bed. After extensive “field research” (read: drinking a ridiculous amount of beer), we’ve compiled the definitive guide to Australia’s best beers.
This isn’t opinion. This is science. And as we all know, the science is settled.
Brace yourself for spirited debates, cheeky banter, and some hard truths about your favorite brew.
1. Victoria Bitter (VB)
“The People’s Champion”
Let’s cut to the chase: VB is Australia’s national beer. Love it or hate it, it’s been the fuel of footy fans, tradies, and your uncle Baz since forever. VB doesn’t pretend to be fancy—it’s bitter, bold, and unapologetically Aussie.
Why It’s Number 1:
- You don’t mess with tradition.
- VB has a way of uniting Australians… and starting punch-ons when someone says they prefer Carlton Draught.
2. Great Northern Super Crisp Lager
“The Heatwave Hero”
Born in Queensland, Great Northern is the ultimate beer for hot days, beach sessions, and avoiding responsibility. Light, crisp, and ridiculously easy to drink, it’s climbed the ranks to become a national favorite.
Why It’s Number 2:
- It’s refreshing without being overpowering.
- Perfect for all-day sessions without knocking you out by lunch.
Science Says: Great Northern has won over VB drinkers in Queensland—and that’s no small feat.
3. XXXX Gold
“The Mid-Strength King”
Mid-strength beers often get a bad rap, but XXXX Gold proves you can have flavor without the extra booze. It’s a beer for those who want to stay upright while the Queensland sun tries to kill them.
Why It’s Number 3:
- It’s sessionable, iconic, and feels like home for Queenslanders.
- Bonus: You can drink more without embarrassing yourself at the family BBQ.
Science Says: “Queenslanders don’t need high ABV beers—they’re already 90% sunshine.”
4. Carlton Draught
“The Pub Classic”
If pubs were planets, Carlton Draught would be the sun. Found on tap in nearly every watering hole across the country, it’s the lifeblood of beer drinkers who believe in keeping it simple.
Why It’s Number 4:
- Easy to find, easy to drink, and pairs perfectly with a parma.
- Its iconic TV ads also deserve a spot in the Aussie cultural canon.
Science Says: Carlton Draught is what happens when you give people exactly what they want—no frills, just beer.
5. Coopers Original Pale Ale
“The Craft Beer Before Craft Beer”
Before hipsters turned beer into an art form, Coopers was quietly doing its thing in South Australia. Unfiltered and full of flavor, Coopers Pale Ale is for those who like their beer with a bit of character.
Why It’s Number 5:
- It’s old-school without being stuck in the past.
- A good swirl of the bottle reminds you beer is more than just a drink—it’s an experience.
Science Says: “Unfiltered beers are better for you… probably.”
6. Emu Export (Bush Chook)
“Western Australia’s Golden Nectar”
WA’s love affair with Emu Export is as intense as it is confusing to outsiders. Known as “Bush Chook,” this beer has a cult following that refuses to let the east coast understand its greatness.
Why It’s Number 6:
- It’s rugged, reliable, and tastes like WA pride in a can.
- Locals swear it tastes better on the back of a ute.
Science Says: “Bush Chook is the beer equivalent of Vegemite—you don’t get it until you’ve lived it.”
7. Stone & Wood Pacific Ale
“The Hipster Darling”
Craft beer fans, rejoice! Stone & Wood Pacific Ale makes the list for its tropical vibes and unpretentious cool factor. Hailing from Byron Bay, it’s the beer of choice for those who surf at dawn and sip at sunset.
Why It’s Number 7:
- Light, fruity, and perfect for those who think hops should have personality.
- Even mainstream drinkers can admit it’s a solid drop.
Science Says: “You’re not a true festival-goer unless you’ve crushed a Stone & Wood in a metal cup.”
8. Balter XPA
“The Craft Beer Gateway”
Founded by pro surfer Mick Fanning, Balter XPA is the beer for people who want to dip their toes into craft without diving headfirst into a hoppy abyss.
Why It’s Number 8:
- Smooth, tropical, and just “fancy” enough to impress your mates.
- Its minimalist cans scream modern Aussie cool.
Science Says: Balter bridges the gap between VB drinkers and craft beer snobs.
9. Heineken
“The International Intruder”
Sure, Heineken isn’t Aussie, but its green bottles have infiltrated every BBQ, wedding, and cricket match across the country. It’s the go-to beer for people who want to look like they have “taste.”
Why It’s Number 9:
- Clean, crisp, and universally drinkable.
- Pairs well with cricket commentary and a sense of superiority.
Science Says: “Imported doesn’t always mean better, but Heineken is an exception.”
10. Furphy Refreshing Ale
“The New Kid on the Block”
This Victorian newcomer has made waves for its smooth, approachable taste. Furphy is for those who want a break from the usual suspects but don’t want to venture too far from home.
Why It’s Number 10:
- It’s refreshing without being pretentious.
- The name alone makes it a hit in Aussie pubs.
Science Says: Furphy is the beer equivalent of a reliable mate—it might not blow your mind, but it won’t let you down either.
What Didn’t Make the Cut?
- XXXX Bitter: Loved by die-hard Queenslanders but seen as “too niche” for the national stage.
- Tooheys New: A NSW staple, but let’s be real—it’s a backup beer when VB isn’t available.
- Peroni: Italians do a lot of things well, but Aussies won’t give up precious fridge space for a beer that screams “European holiday.”
Final Thoughts: The Beer Battle Ends Here
Love it or hate it, this list represents the definitive science of Aussie beers. Sure, you might argue VB is overrated, or Stone & Wood should be higher, but at the end of the day, the science doesn’t lie.
So crack open your beer of choice, raise a glass to Australia’s diverse beer culture, and let the banter begin. After all, what’s more Aussie than arguing over which beer is best?
Cheers, legends.
See Also: The Bogan’s Guide to Aussie Beers: VB, XXXX, and More
