New Zealand, or Aotearoa, is renowned for its laid-back vibe, stunning landscapes, and friendly Kiwis. But when it comes to swearing, Kiwis don’t hold back. Kiwi profanity borrows heavily from British and Australian influences while adding its own unique twist, often infused with a good dose of humor. Whether you’re venting about Wellington’s wind, arguing over rugby, or joking with mates at the pub, Kiwi swear words add color to any conversation. Here’s your guide to Kiwi swearing, ranked from strongest to weakest.
Kiwi Swear Words: Ranked Strongest to Weakest
The Strongest Swear Words in New Zealand
1. C***
The Nuclear Option
One of the strongest insults in Kiwi slang, “c***” is used sparingly and is considered highly offensive. However, in close circles, it can also be used playfully among mates.
- Example:
- “You absolute c***, what were you thinking?!”
- “That guy’s a proper c*** for cutting me off.”
- Pro Tip: While it’s occasionally used as banter, tread carefully—this is a heavy hitter in most contexts.
2. F***
The Versatile Classic
“F***” is a staple in Kiwi vocabulary and can be used in almost any situation, from anger and frustration to emphasis or even humor.
- Example:
- “What the f*** is going on here?”
- “That’s f***ing awesome, bro!”
- Pro Tip: Its versatility makes it a go-to swear word, but overuse can diminish its impact.
3. Bugger
The Kiwi Staple
While not as strong as “f***” or “c***,” “bugger” is still a powerful expression of frustration or annoyance, especially in rural New Zealand.
- Example:
- “Bugger me, I forgot the keys!”
- “Oh, bugger it, let’s have another beer.”
- Pro Tip: It’s less offensive than heavier swears, making it more socially acceptable.
Mid-Tier Kiwi Insults (Still Pack a Punch)
4. Wanker
The British Import
“Wanker,” meaning “jerk” or “idiot,” is a popular insult for someone being annoying or arrogant.
- Example:
- “That wanker cut me off in traffic!”
- “Don’t be such a wanker, mate.”
- Pro Tip: Stronger than “idiot,” but still fairly common in casual banter.
5. Tosser
The Light Jerk
“Tosser,” a milder version of “wanker,” is used to describe someone acting foolishly or arrogantly.
- Example:
- “He’s such a tosser, always showing off his car.”
- “Don’t be a tosser and just do the job.”
6. Bloody
The Kiwi Intensifier
“Bloody” is used to emphasize frustration or disbelief and often precedes other words for extra flair.
- Example:
- “That was a bloody good game!”
- “Who left the bloody door open?!”
- Pro Tip: While common and mild, it still adds spice to your expressions.
The Playful and Milder Swears
7. Dickhead
The Everyday Insult
“Dickhead” is a casual insult aimed at someone being annoying or stupid.
- Example:
- “Stop being such a dickhead, bro.”
- “That guy’s a total dickhead for parking like that.”
- Pro Tip: Mild and often used in playful banter among friends.
8. Bollocks
The British Classic
“Bollocks,” meaning “nonsense” or “rubbish,” is often used to call out lies or exaggerations.
- Example:
- “That’s absolute bollocks!”
- “Don’t talk bollocks, mate.”
9. Arse
The Kiwi Butt
“Arse,” meaning “ass,” is used both literally and figuratively to describe annoyance or frustration.
- Example:
- “Move your arse, we’re late!”
- “What an arsehole that guy is.”
10. Stuffed
The Mild Curse
“Stuffed,” meaning “exhausted” or “broken,” is a light expletive often used in casual situations.
- Example:
- “I’m absolutely stuffed after that hike.”
- “The bloody washing machine’s stuffed again!”
Honorable Mentions
- Git: “Fool” or “idiot.”
- Plonker: “Silly person.”
- Knackered: “Exhausted.”
Swearing Pro Tips
- Tone Is Everything: Many Kiwi swear words can be playful or offensive depending on delivery.
- Mix and Match: Combine words for extra flair—e.g., “You bloody tosser!” or “That’s absolute bollocks, mate!”
- Know Your Audience: While Kiwis are generally relaxed about swearing, it’s best to gauge the crowd before dropping the big ones like “c***.”
Bonus Word: “Chur”
Not a swear word, but quintessentially Kiwi, “chur” is an all-purpose expression of gratitude, agreement, or excitement.
- Example:
- “Here’s your beer, mate.” – “Chur, bro!”
- “That game was epic!” – “Chur!”
Conclusion
Kiwi swearing is as laid-back and colorful as the country itself. From the fiery “c***” to the playful “bloody,” these words capture the humor, frustration, and creativity of New Zealand culture. Whether you’re venting about a tough day or joking with mates, Kiwi profanity is your toolkit. Use them wisely—and sweet as, bro!
See Also: Filipino Swear Words: Ranked Strongest to Weakest (X-Rated)
