How to handle a partner with a quirky obsession like living in the Middle Ages.
Dear Auntie Sheila,
I need your help. My partner, who used to be a relatively normal, fun-loving person, has taken their love for historical reenactments to the extreme. It started innocently enough—attending Renaissance fairs, collecting swords, that sort of thing. But now, it’s like they genuinely believe they’re living in the Middle Ages. They’ve taken to calling me “my liege” in public, insist on eating every meal with their hands, and, most disturbingly, they’ve started wearing chainmail to bed.
Yes, Sheila, I am sharing my bed with a person in full medieval armor. And let me tell you, there’s nothing sexy about getting poked in the ribs by a metal gauntlet in the middle of the night. Every time I try to talk to them about it, they insist that I’m the one who “doesn’t understand the gravity of the Great Quest.” (I still don’t know what this quest is, but it’s apparently very important.)
To make matters worse, they’ve started using thee’s and thou’s in normal conversations, which has made ordering at restaurants an absolute nightmare. I’m all for having hobbies, but at what point does this cross into needing professional help? Or am I just being a modern-day killjoy?
Help me, Auntie Sheila—you’re my only hope!
Sincerely,
Jane H
Dear Jousting for Answers,
Oh, sweetheart, I feel your pain—and possibly your bruised ribs from all that chainmail in bed! What a predicament you’ve found yourself in. First of all, let me assure you: you are not a “modern-day killjoy.” Anyone who can tolerate being addressed as “my liege” during Sunday brunch has already gone above and beyond the call of duty.
Now, let’s unpack this step by step, because while it’s tempting to dismiss this as a quirky phase, there’s clearly something deeper going on here.
How to Handle a Partner’s Quirky Obsession
Your partner has found a passion (or maybe an obsession) that’s giving them a sense of purpose. That “Great Quest” they keep mentioning? It might not be literal, but it’s probably their way of processing something they’re grappling with—be it stress, boredom, or just the general malaise of modern life.
That said, boundaries are important. If sharing your bed with Sir Clanks-a-Lot isn’t working for you, you need to make that clear. You can support their love of medieval history without letting it invade every corner of your life. Maybe suggest a designated “knights only” zone where they can play out their medieval fantasies without involving the rest of the household. (The garage? The shed? A carefully constructed castle made of cardboard?)
When Your Partner’s Hobby Becomes a Challenge
As for the thee’s and thou’s, that might take a little humor and patience. Next time they order at a restaurant with a “Verily, I shalt have the chicken,” meet them halfway: “Prithee, sire, doth thou desire fries or a salad?” If you make it a bit of fun, it could diffuse the tension—and who knows, you might end up on the same page. Or at least the same century.
But if this goes beyond harmless quirkiness and starts affecting their ability to function in the real world, a serious chat might be in order. Frame it with love: “I adore how passionate you are about this, but I feel like we’ve lost some balance in our lives. How can we find a middle ground that works for both of us?”
Auntie Sheila’s Final Word on Eccentric Relationships
Remember, my dear, relationships are about compromise. You don’t have to banish them from their medieval world completely, but you also shouldn’t have to live in it 24/7. Find your common ground, draw your boundaries, and maybe invest in a good foam mattress topper in case the armor stays in rotation for a while.
Yours sincerely,
Auntie Sheila
Also See: My Husband Built a Shrine to His Ex’s Hamster – Auntie Shiela Help
