Ten of My Favourite Andrew Shaffer Quotes
Quotes, who doesn’t love a good quote? This series of articles we look at Top 10 Famous Quotes by Author Andrew Shaffer, author quotes are always a challenge and fun to pick, with Andrew Shaffer you will find my Ten favourites of Andrew Shaffer’s quotes.
Popular Quotes
“We do have funerals for the living,” Jill said. “They’re called birthday parties.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Hope Never Dies
“My shift isn’t over until six,” I say glumly.
“Hold on,” he says. He pulls a Blackberry from his coat pocket and taps out a text. It buzzes, and he taps out another text before stashing it back in his pocket. “I think you can take the rest of the afternoon off.”
“I only have a week left, but my boss would kill me,” I say.
“I’m your boss, Anna.”
“What do you mean?”
There’s that smile again, the one with all those teeth. “I just bought Walmart,” he says.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“For the first time since he showed up in my checkout lane, I let my eyes wander the full length of his body. The bulge in his running down the side of his pants leg is quite noticeable; either he has a banana in his pocket, or he’s happy to see me. Then I notice a similar bulge running down the side of his other pants leg. Either he has two bananas in his pockets, or he has two erections.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.”
“Have you ever tasted…white tea, Anna?”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait…I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“Stop it, girl. There’s no way he’s five-years-old. Or one hundred. He’s probably like every other CEO on the planet: Late twenties, handsome in that geeky sort of way, and just as awkward as you. I breathe a sigh of relief, because I know I’m probably right.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“No man is an island,” he says. “Islands are made of dirt and rocks and trees. I don’t know any people made of such things. Therefore, people are not islands.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“He hands me his shopping list and I lead him through the store in search of the items. Duct tape? Plastic wrap? A hacksaw? Who is this guy, Dexter?”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“Who is this man I’m supposed to interview, this man whose last name is the same as the color of my sweatpants? Is that a sign?”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“We passed a pickup that was doing fifty-five in a fifty-five. Clearly a sociopath.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Hope Never Dies
10 Famous Quotes by Author Andrew Shaffer
So there you have it my Ten favourite quotes by Andrew Shaffer, please comment below and share your favourite quotes by the fantastic author Andrew Shaffer. Furthermore, if you find any Authors not covered for there, top 10 quotes let me know and I will review their works and find some of their best quotes as has been done here for Andrew Shaffer.
One Final Bonus – Andrew Shaffer Quote
“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. Damn my hair – it’s fifty shades of fucked up. The situation I’m in is fifty shades of fucked up. I’m supposed to be studying for my finals; my roommate, Kathleen, should be the one fussing with her hair in front of the mirror right now. Instead, I’m trying to brush my hair into submission. Why is my hair so kinky? I need to stop sleeping with it wet, because it always ends up out of control. As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait…I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
